One of the real pleasures in life is being in a committed relationship with a partner whom you can count and rant on, laugh and learn with, give you happiness, care for you, and love you wholeheartedly. A partner like that is hard to come by, and it takes the force of the universe to bring you and your “The One” together.
You know better than to think life will let you take the shortcut. Some people have to go through a couple of sweethearts before they are rewarded with a beautiful life with their soul mates. If you are had relationships before, you probably have an idea of what makes a good or bad partner – and why you can or cannot spend a lifetime with them.
Loyalty, patience, understanding, and growth are essential factors in every relationship. However, sometimes – when you are so in love – you forget that these factors weigh less if you are a martyr by letting your partner treat you like shit. “Relationships in and of themselves do not create mental illness.” However, he adds, “When we suffer in our relationships, it can be difficult to move forward from past hurt and trauma.” Jor-El Caraballo, LMHC said.
Here are reasons why you shouldn’t be too hard on yourself, and see why it’s okay to give up on a partner who makes you feel depressed:
You Don’t Need Someone To Make You Feel Better About Yourself
With all the empowering songs screaming of girl power, some are just too stubborn to believe in themselves. Many girls stay thirsty for their man’s validation, or compliments, to prove that they’re amazing the way they are.
In cases when the situation is reversed, and the man straight up criticizes them physically, emotionally, and mentally – that’s when self-esteem drops to below zero. When the self-esteem is gone, it triggers sadness, and worse, depression.
You’re Not Always Wrong
Contrary to what your partner may say and stick against you, you are not always wrong, and he or she isn’t always right. Due to the pride of your partner, you may be the one who’s always willing to acknowledge the mistakes, just to avoid confrontations and fights from happening. “Humans are complex and all of us experience emotions like anger and sadness, so it’s very normal that at some point in the relationship, you will disagree with your partner.” Maryann W. Mathai, LPCC, LMHC, LPC, NCC explains.
You should know that a healthy relationship acknowledges the problems, and the person with the mistakes come up with resolutions for your relationship. If you are always “wrong,” and your partner makes you feel that way, that would be really toxic.
You Can Be Independent
It’s okay to be dependent on our partners – emotionally, physically, socially, intimately, and spiritually. However, there are the unfortunate ones, who become a little too dependent, that they lose understanding of who they are and their capabilities.
If you split up with your partner, and you can’t stand up on your own feet, that would be a problem and will make you feel depressed. You need to be independent. You CAN BE independent.
You Can Enjoy What Life Has To Provide
According to Heather Edwards LMHC, NCC, BCC, “It can be difficult to re-establish a healthy routine and empower yourself after a toxic relationship. Fortunately, coming to the realization that you need to let go is one of the most difficult steps.” But getting rid of a partner who makes you feel depressed is a blessing. No matter how much it hurts now, it will surely make sense and spur your individual growth, when you look back in the past.
Don’t fret. With the billions of guys or girls in the world, you can still be in your quest to find ‘The One.’ Your true ‘The One’ will lift you up, not pull you further down. So, stay patient.