What Not To Say To A Depressed Wife

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Depression is not a state of mind but a mental health sickness that needs immediate attention. When a person is clinically diagnosed with depression, it is essential that you know how to deal with her properly. There is a necessity to be careful with whatever you do or say whenever she is around. In this article, we are going to list down some of the words or sentences that your depressed wife must never hear from you. Remember that some things are better left unsaid especially if they will cause harm to your partner.

Be sure to stop yourself from uttering any of these:


“Stop Being Depressed”

Never tell someone that she has to stop being depressed because the truth is that she has no control over her feelings and thoughts. What you need to understand is that a depressed person is mentally ill. There is more to the mixed emotions of sadness, grief, disappointment, and despair. You cannot expect your wife to simply get out of her depressive state because you said so. If you want to take her depression away, the right thing to do is to help her in this difficult moment of her life.  “Depression is real and painful. Just because you can’t see or touch it doesn’t make it any less real.” Charmaine J. Simmons, LPC explains.

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“I Know What You Feel”

You may think that you are an expert in handling negative emotions because you are not depressed, unlike your wife. This line of thinking can be bad or dangerous especially if you let the other spouse know that you know what she is feeling. Well, the reality is that you have no idea how she feels right now. Just because you have been exposed to the same circumstances does not mean that you feel the same thing.


“It Is Your Fault”

This is the last thing that a depressed individual wants to hear from anyone. Do not bring the burden onto your wife. Never blame her for her depression. Keep in mind that she does not like the type of situation that she is currently in. Just like you, she also wants to feel better, but she has no idea how to do it. Stop pointing out how her depression is taking a toll on your married life. All she needs at this very moment is your support and patience.  Remember, “Having few or no supportive relationships can increase the risk of depression in both men and women.” Ben Martin, Psy.D.  said.

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“Be Grateful For What You Have”

Again, now is not the time to force your partner to work on her emotions. You cannot tell her to be thankful for what she has. At the same time, you have to stop telling her that other people are more unfortunate than she is. Take note that persons react to a lot of things differently. Forcing your wife to appreciate her blessings will not improve her depression. Give her the time she needs.  “Someone suffering depression may know that there is something wrong or different going on. They are not likely to proclaim themselves depressed, however, or be overly receptive to being labeled by you.” Kurt Smith, Psy.D., LMFT, LPCC, AFC said.

Living with someone who has depression can be tough. You have to be more understanding of the situation. Remind yourself that your wife deserves your love and affection. Remember that you promised to be there for her, in sickness or health. With your assistance and guidance, your wife can overcome depression.