One of the things that you need to remember when it comes to caring for your husband is that you must know his struggles and problems. It is essential that you motivate him in opening up to you, especially during a time when he experiences a loss in the family. Take note that no matter how strong your partner is, he will always feel a little low when someone in his family dies. Below is a list of the things that you can do to help your partner in this difficult situation:
Be Available
“Individuals may avoid discussing the loss as well as avoid people or places that are associated with their grief. This experience can put an individual in a vulnerable position with regard to their mental health.” Tali Yuz Berliner, Psy.D. said. Now is the time that your spouse needs you the most. Drop everything that you are doing whenever he tries to open up about his feelings. You are one of the few persons that your partner can rely on. Avoid breaking his trust by keeping yourself busy at a time when he is grieving. Keep in mind that all your spouse needs are to have someone to talk to and comfort him. Let your husband cry so that he can release all the bottled up emotions caused by the death of a loved one.
Be Understanding
Remember that people have different ways of grieving or dealing with a negative situation. This is why it is essential on your part to be more patient and understanding about the acts of your partner. Stop pressuring him from instantly moving on. You cannot force him to be okay right after his dad died. He needs sufficient time to process everything that happened. Make an effort to be comfortable with silence. If he wants to be alone for a while, be sure to give it to him. “Understandably, grief is complicated and we sometimes wonder if the pain will ever end. We go through a variety of emotional experiences such as anger, confusion, and sadness.” Jodi Clarke, MA, LPC/MHSP explains.
Be Careful
Another crucial thing that you must remember is that your partner can become sensitive during the time that he is grieving. You may notice that there are new changes in the way he reacts or talks about something. Try to understand the changes in his moods or the way he treats you. At the same time, be careful in anything that you say to him. Bas much as possible, make an effort to study his behavior before you do anything. The last thing that you would want to happen is for him to feel offended. Make sure that you know the words that must be kept to yourself and those that you can say to him.
Be Strong
“No one is born knowing how to cope with the wave of grief that follows the death of someone we love. As a psychotherapist who’s worked with many grievers, I know when faced with overwhelming grief, many people feel like they are alone in what they’re experiencing and can feel like they’re going crazy.” That is according to Debbie Augenthaler, LMHC, NCC. Helping a partner get over a painful experience in his life is going to break you at some point. However, you need to be strong for the other person. You must be strong for him. Remember that he will draw his strength from you and the kids. Most importantly, never forget to tell your husband that crying for his father’s death is not a sign of weakness. Let him know that men can cry, especially when they are hurt.
If you believe that your partner is already going through depression or other mental health condition, do not have second thoughts in getting in touch with a therapist or psychiatrist. You need the assistance of a professional to prevent the situation from getting worse.