Whispers from the inside…

Joe and I worked out what happened the other day and we talked about how we’re going to do the garden. We’re now leaning towards making the border out of wood and might go to Lowe’s tomorrow to get the stuff we’ll be using. It’s a relief that we talked about it and how our anxiety feeds off each other. I guess I got his anxious vibe and it just kind of grew from there.

Watched Lost tonight. To tell the truth, I’m not as excited about the show as I used to be. I have to watch each episode at least twice before I can grasp what happened and it’s getting tiring.  The end of season 5 is coming up. Next week, there’s going to be a recap show and the week after that, the season finale. Joe and I spend a fair amount of time on ‘The Fuselage’ and I get tired of seeing threads from people that probably haven’t really watched the show (0r at least paid close attention to it while it was airing…).

Oh, forgot to mention that we took in a pregnant cat and she had her kittens on April 13th (a Monday). They’re all healthy and just over 3 weeks old now. They just started cruising around today. Joe and I have been trying to handle them and get them used to human contact so they would be better able to deal with being pets for other people. As much as I’d love to keep them, we already have too many. Although, the first born (Penny), seems to still have closed ears. This worries me a little. The other 2, Ethan (2nd born) and Miles (3rd and last born), seem to be doing great. Ethan, oddly enough seems to be the most developed of all 3. He’s already starting to try to groom himself, is the most curious and aggressive of the 3 so far. Miles seems to be the shyest and Penny is the most vocal.

Penny is almost a complete carbon copy of her mother… small eyes, same color and markings, even the same cute meow. Ethan is a pure tabby and furry as a teddy bear. Miles has a tabby face but the rest of his body is mostly black.

Oh yeah, we took Jasmine to the vet to be spayed. That was almost a week ago (April 30th) and she’s back to her old self. Her and RJ were chasing around like they were on fire earlier today.

Toeby hasn’t been around lately. I’m sure that George and Jake don’t miss him… more canned food for them.

Lately, I haven’t really had much interest in anything. I’ve been pushing myself to finish the spa set for Joe’s Mom but I need a gel filled mask and I can’t find one to save my life (at least locally). I might have to give her an IOU for that since, even if I order it tonight, it probably won’t get here until a few weeks from now. I also want to finish her socks that I’m making her too. There’s a bag that goes with the spa set (already got that done…) that I’m going to use to put the socks and what I made out of the set. I didn’t make everything, just the loofa mitt, the mask cover and I’m still making the soap sock but that’s a small thing that I can get done in less than a day.

To be honest, I really liked the yarn that I was using with the spa set kit. It’s called Cotlin (cotton/linen blend). So much so that I think I’m going to make a top out of what I have left. I ordered extra Cotlin since I didn’t know if I’d use more than what the kit came with. Plus, I have some other sport weight yarn (Comfy… cotton acrylic blend) and Shine (cotton/Modal blend) that I can use if I run out of Cotlin. I probably have enough so I’m not going to give in and order more. I really had wanted to make it all one color but, hey, I have more than enough and it’s just going to basically be something that I throw on after I take a shower so, who cares if it’s striped or not?

Oh, Joe and I went to see Tesla when they were in Cincinnati. The show was good. There were 2 bands that opened for them (Damage and The Leo Project). The only bad part was that, for one, the venue sucked huge green donkey dicks. No seating at all except for a few chairs along the back. By the time the concert ended, my back and legs were so stiff and achy, all I wanted to do was sit down for the next few weeks. Adding to that, the area that the venue was in was a really bad neighborhood. I told Joe that I’d have to think long and hard about going back there. Plus, they took my smokes and lighter. I ended up giving them to some homeless guy. Oh, yeah, as soon as we parked (we lucked out big time and found parking on the street nearby), some guy came up, giving us a sob story about running out of gas and needing money for gas and a gas can *rolls eyes* We just gave him money so he’d leave us alone.

Other than that, Telsa rocked the house. Their show wasn’t as flashy as DL’s but it was good. The music rocked and outside of the above mentioned irritants, we had a good time. I ended up having 2 beers (in plastic bottles no less) but didn’t feel drunk at all. By the time we got out, we were both starving and nothing was open at that time of night and between Cincinnati and Portsmouth, there wasn’t anything except a McDonald’s that was closed. So once we got back to civilization, we checked out the McD’s on 52 and it was open but was serving breakfast O_o So I got a few breakfast burritos and Joe opted out for the left over lasagna from Sunday night. Neither of us got to bed before 5 am. Joe’s Dad was up before we turned in. Oh yeah, we got lost on the way home too. The fun just didn’t stop…

Now, we’re planning our next trip to Cincinnati for the DL concert at River Bend. We passed it on the way into Cincinnati so we know where it is (thank God..). Cheap Trick and Poison are opening for them so this should be a great concert. I told Joe that next time, we’re going to get a VIP package, just so we can experience that for once. I guess we’ll see how things go but I’d really like to do that, especially for a DL concert. I’m not sure if I could survive another Tesla concert unless I get new knees and hips o_O

I swear, I’m tired of being this way. Today, Joe and I were supposed to go up to Portsmouth Building Supply to either order or get the cinder blocks so we could get a move on the garden. Well, I started getting hugely anxious. I think it started when I started feeling a strange vibe from Joe. I can’t explain it any better than that. Like he didn’t really want to take me up to that store or something. Usually, I can fend this kind of vibe (perceived or real) but I’ve been trying to keep from falling into a depression for the past few days. Mother’s Day is coming up and I usually get in the depths around this time of year (for obvious reasons…) so I was vulnerable to his negative vibe.

Yeah, I’m that weak to be thrown off balance by just a ‘vibe’. I’m so mad at myself for allowing myself to just… give in. Then, I didn’t even have the balls to tell him that maybe we could go later or tomorrow. Nope, I just shut myself down and that was that. I’m sure that he’s at least a little pissed at me (not as pissed as I am at myself though, I’m sure…).

At this point, I feel like just about the most worthless person in the world.

Just for the record, I started those today. So, in about 2 weeks, I should see some results, hopefully.

The cukes and smmer squash are still in the lead as far as veggies go. The jalapenos (2) came up, along with basil, lemon basil and garlic chives.

Yeah, it’s that time alright. I got  seed starting kit at Walmart that holds 72 jiffy pots but I’m only using about 24. I started yellow squash, zucchini, cucumbers, jalapenos, lemon basil, regular basil, garlic chives and cat grass.

So far, the cukes are in the lead… all 3 plants are up about half an inch or so. The basil is coming up and I have one lemon basil so far. I’m not discourged yet as it’s been a week since I started them. I also started more basil and more garlic chives in old soda bottles (cut them in half and put dirt in the bottoms, planted the seeds and put the tops back on [very carefully]).

I’m debating on sending away for chile seeds. I’d really love to have green chile with my eggs (or anything else for that matter…). I’ll have to see about that.

So far, we’ve lucked out big time, regarding the ice storm but I don’t think we’re totally out of the woods yet. It’s supposed to snow some tonight/tomorrow and it’s getting a little windy. With all the ice on the power lines, I’ll just say that… I’ll be holding my breath for a little while the next few days.

Depression is setting back in today. I’m trying to keep positive but… it’s so freaking hard this time. I’m realizing things about myself, like how I have a hard time thinking in terms of ‘future’. I want to write more but it’s time to go to bed. I’m tired.

Well… the weather isn’t exactly great now. Monday, it snowed around 4-5 inches and Tuesday, it was freezing rain all day. I can’t say that I’m truly freaking out about it but… earlier, I was outside on the back porch and I saw/heard the butterfly bush fall over under the weight of the ice. Adding to that I heard tree branches cracking here and there too.

I can’t help remembering the ice storm that Joe and his family went through 6 years ago, where they were without power for close to a week. I’m really hoping that that doesn’t happen but I told Joe that maybe collecting wood tomorrow would be a good idea.

I think our internet connection issues are over, thank God. It was getting frustrating for a while. It would pop on and off every few minutes, not long enough to do anything, then go out for hours at a time.

Today, Joe and I went to Walmart to get a new DVD recorder. I was disappointed when Joe decided that he wanted just a player, not a recorder. It wasn’t that much more expensive than the one player that he ended up picking out. Oh well. We watched the first 2 episodes of Lost tht he had recorded Wednesday and they didn’t look all that good. I’m betting that he’s sorry that he opted out for the player and not the recorder.

I stopped off at the ATM to get more money and see about transferring some money from savings to checking and it wouldn’t let me. I’m seriously not happy with this bank and that I can’t do most of my banking through the ATM so, when the 6 month period is up, I’m moving my accounts to another bank. This time, I’m going to be a little more thorough in my research. I liked how I had my savings and checking acounts connected so I could do what I wanted through the ATM, including transfers.

I’m making a strong effort not to buy any more yarn for a while. The new colors of the Felici yarn on Knit Picks is tempting though. I really like most of the new colors but, I’ll ignore them for a while.

Today was the inauguration of our new president. For a change, I actually watched the ceremony. His speech was pretty good and hopefully, he’ll be a better president than Bush was.

So far, I didn’t do much today except work on socks. Joe and I talked about going to Walmart but ended up not going. I want to get more blank DVDs for recording. The season premiere of Lost is on tomorrow night and I want to record it on the DVD recorder. In fact, I want to get the whole season on DVD so Joe and I can watch it any time we want to. More often than not, we tend to rewatch the episode a few times after it’s aired, just to get a better feel for it.

I’m contemplating buying more sock yarn but I made myself a promise that I would use some of what I have here now before I buy more. I’d really like to get more Cascade Heritage sock yarn. It’s on the pricey side but so far, the skein that I’m working with feels really nice, it’s not splitty at all and what I’ve knitted up looks really nice. What I’m after is socks that won’t wear out after a few wears.

I’ve read a lot of reviews on different sock yarn and so far, Cascade Heritage and Lorna’s Laces Shepard has had few negative reviews.

Yesterday wasn’t really all that interesting. It was cold though… really cold. We kept the cats in all day. I ended up getting up later than usual… around 11 am instead of 9-10 am. I was kind of pissed at myself for that since I had wanted to make rolls to go with dinner (slow cooker stew that I had started the night before).

Today, it’s still cold. It’s 10 degrees out now and it’s only supposed to get up to 13 today. I got myself together enough to try dyeing some yarn with food coloring instead of Kool Aid just a little while ago. It’s in the pot now, heating up. I might have to over dye it again because, so far, it’s looking like a light brownish pink. I was going for a slightly deeper color but we’ll see how it comes out in a little while. This is the first time that I’ve tried this.

I used 5 drops of red and 2 of green (shooting for a puce kind of color which is a brownish rose kind of color). I might have to double the amount of color later on if I’m not happy with it. Too, I want to eventually do some shaded blue yarn and do some pink/purple yarn too, all light shades. I have so much dark colored yarn that it’s not even funny. I’ve been looking for decently priced sock yarn that’s on the lighter side but I really don’t like anything that I’m seeing enough to order it. In fact, I’ll be backing off of ordering yarn for a while (well, Knit Picks might be the exception since they came out with new Felici colorways… some of them are really nice).

More later…

It’s later. I added 3 drops of neon blue to the pot after rinsing the yarn out and adding fresh water. It had come out a faded pinkish/brownish color before adding in the blue. So far, it looks like it’ll be a faded pink/blue/purple color. Hopefully, it’ll look decent.

Well,, today was much better than yesterday. Even with a few minor setbacks, today turned out just fine. The internet was still playing games with us early today so Joe’s Mom called up and found out that it’s a network issue, not anything happening here.

We managed to get to Walmart today and sent Becky’s yarn/needles off to her. She’ll get those by Friday. After we got back, we ate dinner. Soon after that, Joe discovered that the toilet handle was broken. Thankfully, he fixed it.

We watched season 4 finale of Lost and saw a preview of season 5 premier episode. I can’t wait until next week when that comes on. Joe and I have been looking forward to that since the end of season 4.